☆ ke rindu an ☆

Masih di sini.
Masih diberi peluang bernafas oleh Illahi.

Kerinduan nak menulis bagi menggamit memori. Tapi, waktu kurang mengizinkan.  Dan 2 insan kecik yang memerlukan sepenuh perhatian.

Nanti lah. Tunggu aku. Tunggu waktu untuk kembali aktif macam dulu. Kita practice dulu, suami suami kuku.

Memang aku rindu! 😭😎
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♥ Baby Picture :) ♥

By the way, meet lil baby number 2,
N.u.r.N.a.s.u.h.a.h.F.a.r.h.a.n.a.h. ♥

Category: 1 comments

2nd Birth Story

Salam and greetings. After so many days of giving birth, I finally had the time to write my birth experience; with being in confinement and helping my 1st daughter adjusting to the new situation, it is one kind of a ride. But, am loving it to the max. I think I need to write this due to the fact that I do not want to forget the feeling, how gentle birthing was so different from my 1st 'clueless' birthing experience.

When I first found out that I was pregnant again, I was frantic to find out about other birthing methods that could help me this time around. I do not want what happened during my 1st birth to repeat. Granted, nothing too bad or too traumatising happened during my 1st born but I was on epidural, half awake, half aware and due to some complication, managed to hold my lil daughter only after 2 days of delivery. 2 DAYS I tell ya! 2 agonizing days which was also frustrating cause I saw her been bottle fed for those 2 days. How I blamed myself for the lack of knowledge then. It was not like I wasn't keen on learning about birth then, but surfing the net, I found mostly scary and frightening birth stories. Stories that made me scared of giving birth. So I stopped my research all together. And when I was wheeled in to the labour room at that time, as the midwives were telling scary stories again and again, I surrendered and gave in to epidural. Sigh. But that was the story of 2 years ago. Oh how thankful I am to found out about gentle birthing this time around. I spent at least 2 hours everyday learning on gentle birthing. I read books, tons of articles and was (and am) an avid reader at the GBG facebook. I would love to attend any hypnobirthing class or Amani class but with Mr. Hubby working at his peak on most weekend, we really did not have the opportunity to do so. But still, I practice what I had gathered through the net from videos and reading for a good 7 months. So, yea, research and studies are important and I just want to stress here that I did not go into home birth blindly and ignorant.

So, on with the birth story then. I tend to ramble yeah? :p

25th July 2013 - 3am
I woke up feeling like doing number 2. First sign of birth, had some clear mocous plug discharge. Now, being at week 41, I was estatic with this state of progress. Yay! Baby is coming soon, I had to prepare myself physically and mentally. Yet, no pain whatsoever throughout the day. Feeling a bit disappointed but managed to keep my calm. Played with my daughter alot knowing her time being the only child is coming to an end soon ;)

26th July 2013 - 4:30am
Woke up to prepare sahur for us. At this time I felt some kind of discomfort. Bareable, thus I continue my house chores as usual. I kinda knew today is the day but I didn't get my hopes too high.

7:00 am
Bid goodbye to Mr. Hubby who was going to work. Yet, managed to remind him to buy food for iftar as I was starting to be sure that these are real surges. Baby was coming :)

1:00 pm
Surges were getting stronger. Timed my surges; 15 minutes apart. So, I started getting my 'home baby birth supplies' box out from the storage. Time to set up the right environment for baby to come. In between these surges and setting up, I managed to get some food in my system, knew that I'll be needing the energy and will be too consumed in pain to eat later on.

4:30 pm
Mr. Hubby came back from work, much to my pleasure. Can't think straight anymore at this time, the pain was almost unbearable. ALMOST. By this time Mr. Hubby took charge of taking care little daughter as I can't entertain her anymore. Concentrated on my breathing and keeping calm. I stopped timing my surges as I thought I was not progressing much and it will only stress me more. Thus, I let go, and pray to Allah that it will get better from this point on. Berserah dan tawakal. It helped.
Requested for Mr. Hubby to start preparing the pool and if possible put lil daughter to sleep.

8:30 pm
A miracle worker my Hubby was, managed to put lil daughter to sleep this early. (I was impressed! Siap tanya dalam sakit2 tu, 'macam mana awak tidurkan anak awal macam ni?' And he looked at me as if I'm crazy...sempat lagi tuuuu...haha) He prepared the pool and filled it with warm water. I was so desperate for a way of relief that I didn't wait for the pool to be filled in enough, I just jump straight into it. Because at that time, I had the sense that if I did not feel better, I might just pursuit my hubby to go to the hospital. That will ruin our home birth plan entirely. Heh. Once inside the pool, I felt much better and having Mr. Hubby by my side, pouring warm water onto my tummy and whispering encouraging words, I felt good and relaxed.

11:00 pm
I was getting impatient. Kept asking my hubby, 'bila ni? bila ni?'. It dawned to me that my water bag hadn't broken yet. Am i giving birth en caul? Will it be longer? This labour I'm having? How much longer? I kept praying that it will end soon. I was getting a bit tired and impatient me does not work well with being calm. However, 15 minutes later, I spotted some blood clot and slimey substance in the water. Oh, I never had been soo happy to see blood coming out of my body I tell ya! I was grinning like a fool and started getting excited, Mr. Hubby was laughing at me. And at that moment I remebered the laughing French woman video and it encourage me even more. I didn't feel stressed and I knew that we'll be fine with Allah's will. I spoke to the baby that we are doing this, it won't be long now! And she actually did listen. Originally our plan was to gave birth in our bedroom, yet the baby had wanted otherwise. In the middle of these intense surges, all of the sudden I felt as if I need to change position. My body was telling me to be on the hands-and-knees position. (It was a kiddy pool, hence when I was in this position, the baby will not be born in the water). I had visualized this birthing position so much that it became clear that the baby was coming now. I can feel the movement of her head towards the right position. Syukur, the awaited baby is doing fine. The next surge, I felt the need to push. I was so eager to see the baby, I did push her out a bit, then remembering what needed to be done, I corrected myself and tried to breathe the baby out instead. At this moment, I could feel amounts of water gushing out; meaning my water just broke. I checked the water and it was clear. Alhamdulillah, no meconium, both me and baby were not stressed, we were doing fine. Another surge and I felt the so infamous 'ring of fire' pressure and again, breathed the baby out. Mr. Hubby was excited and frantically told me the baby's hair was showing. I laughed my heart out :p Another 2 surges and she was safely in her dad's arm. How beautiful it was, Masya Allah, the moment, the baby, the situation we were in - we were in awe. How Allah had wrote a beautiful story for us, and how amazing that feeling was, believing in our ability to give birth naturally. I got to hold her immediately and skin to skin was inniciated. My tears was flowing and little daughter chose this moment to wake up. Looking at her, and the new bundle of joy, I was touched - I'm a mother of two! :)

11.45 pm
We cleaned ourselves up and moved to the living room. I breastfed lil baby and she was sucking like a champion. We just rest for a bit and waited for the cord to stop pulsating. After Mr. Hubby cut the cord, and after cleaning up the baby who had just pooped on me, I decided it's time to breath out the placenta. Leaving the baby to bond with dad and big sister, I squatted for the placenta to come out. I did the same breathing technique and coughed the placenta out not more after 1 hour of giving birth. Strangely though, there were no surges for the placenta as expected. It just came out - or maybe there was surges but I was just too overjoyed to notice, I don't know. :p

27th July 2013 - 1.30 am
We decided it was time to pay the hospital a visit. It was only 10 minutes away anyway. But before that we made a pit stop at the police station to make a report of giving birth at home for an easy registration later on. At the hospital, the usual routines were done on me and baby. I was warded after getting some stitches (I did tear a bit, because of the pushing at the early stage *sigh*). We were then released the very next morning. :)

So, that was my story. I kept the plan a secret till the baby was born. I knew many will opposed to the idea and we didn't need those negative vibes around us. Even as I am writing this I know some are still against what we did. Some are even furious. Hihi. That is why I think this is important; writing these wonderful birth stories up, so that not all birth stories on the web scares and frighten 1st time mothers. we need to shine some light on the gentle birthing scene. I believed that everything was perfectly fine and went as planned. I'd do it again, no hesitation. But, just to put our family at ease, a gentle hospital birth next perhaps? ;) hoiii anak baru lepas pantang oiii!!! Lol...I kid, I kid. Insyaallah. Thanks for reading. :)

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❤ Masih Disini ❤


Ni bukan ketegori bersawang je blog ni. Ni dah kategori pekasam!
Ces!! Si penulis merangkap  pemilik blog yang tak berkesungguhan langsung mengupdate blog.

But o well,
Biarlah. Blog ni pun tuan badan je yang selalu baca. Haha.

Anyway, lama kesepian.Kerana? Sebabnya?
Tak ada sebab yang specific pun. 
Kesibukan harian, kemalasan, dan kesihatan yang tak berapa nak mengizinkan. Tengok skrin je nak termuntah. Sumpah! Tak tipu. Maybe baby kali ni not technology phrone kot? =P

Update pregnancy sikit, untuk kenangan sendiri di hari tua.

Week 19.
Whoa? Where did all the time goes? Going into my 5th month and I am still processing the thought of raising 2 lil tots after this.
Doubt, yes, creeping in.
Can I do it?
Am I strong enough?
Will I ruin these 2 lives I'm responsible for?
It's mid-pregnancy falling out all over again!

In the end of the day, I know, always know that I'm up for it. Or else I won't be so eager and 'gedik' to have more and more children now, wouldn't I?

Ok, Entry meraban.
Just warming up for upcoming updates.

Tahu-tahu je lepas ni rajin mengupdate.
Because dah terexcited with having a new member in the family.


Mengharapkan, tapi takkan hampa. Sebab rezeki tu Allah yang tentukan. Cuma berdoa yang anak dalam kandungan sihat mengikut peredaran tumbesaran. Ya Allah, padaMu kami berserah. Amin =)

Ren Din
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❤ Holiday Mood Tak Habis-Habis ❤


Ini mode gembira kami. Ya, mood holiday kami belum habis walaupun dah seminggu kami pulang dari berholiday. Mood tu belum habis walupun semua 3 beranak dah sakit demam berhari-hari. Kenapa? Sebab holiday kami oh-so-awesome sekali! =)

If you remembered (which I doubt anyone but me would), back in February, I did a couple of entries telling how exciting I was on our plan to visit Langkawi. Turns out, months and months and months, I mean monthssss of preparation and bottled up excitement in silence could result in total dream blissful holiday. As we (and by WE I had meant ME), had planned things out and bought the most economical holiday there is, 4Days 3 Nights at Pulau Langkawi seemed not enough. Never, never will be enough, but we make do with the time we had. And it was super fun holiday for us =)

I will not go into lengths on our  activities there, for I doubt anyone would give a care. Plus, it could take years to write 'em up. But hey, I will share my itinerary on the next post. For now, as they say, pictures hold thousands words. And me, I will no doubt keep smiling each and every time I see these pictures cause all of the moments shared have a very special place in my heart. Thank you Allah for this happiness you are giving me right now. Alhamdulillah. =)

First flying experience for her. Truth be told, I was the one who was more nervous I think. Dia OK je. 

 Touchdown at Langkawi with a blazing hot weather. Dah sampai, haruslah pusing-pusing dan tengok pantai dulu. Subahanallah. Beautiful views everywhere we look. Mesmerizing almost.

 Due to our packed activities, after lunch he same day, we go and see the fishes, fishes, big fishes at The Underwaterworld Langkawi. Like usual, this nature-loving girl had a blast running around the big aquarium. Just look at the smile on that face. Precious! ❤

Cuba teka kami di mana? Haha... classic pictures of folks visiting Langkawi. Habis-habis helang tu jugak yang glamer.

 The next day at the Bird Paradise & Wildlife Park Langkawi. Ok, this is the best time on the whole trip. Maybe not, but well, safe to say we had tons and tons of fun here. Dan macam biasa keberanian anak lagi terserlah dari mamanya. '=_=

 These birds, these wonderful colourful pretty little birds, one day, when we have our own house and a big front green yard, I am going to have these birds as my pets and revel on them all day long.  That's how much I love these birds. Cantik sangat please!!!!!

 And maybe we could care for some rabbits too (since Aisyah love 'em too much)

 But no donkey ya honey. No, mama kata tak boleh, nanti rumah berbau donkey. =P

 Then, to Galeria Perdana and Craft Complex we venture on. Mama and bapak dah penat sikit kat sini, but Aisyah steady. Takpe, penat jalan Aisyah boleh merangkak lagi.

After that, to the cable car we go, we go, we go. Oh yes, scenery here is to die for. Subahanallah. =)

 At 700m above sea level, si kecik eat ice-cream and drank a whole tin of 100 plus. Lucky us you are still wearing diapers my baby =D

Next day was island hopping day. First time for the 3 of us. Tapi, temperature Aisyah was increasing the whole day. And after taking medicine, she was asleep almost the whole time. Tak merengek, cuma tidur  lebih. Kesian. But oh well, this only means we have to go back because Aisyah didn't get to experience the whole island hopping deal for real. Kan bapak? =P

 But still here and there, she get excited like she's all well =)

 Dan ini rupa budak pasrah being told it's time to go home. Haha. Kaki Jalan Till The End =)

 Dan ini pula. Ini aktiviti bapak dan anak hari-hari. Mandi laut di pagi-pagi hari. And oh my, my heart skipped a beat everytime I saw they moving further and further into the water. Tapi tengoklah, (ok mungking kamu tak nampak) betapa happynya mereka. And that's my dear friend, that's what made our days worth living for. =)

Ren Din

P/S: Planning next family vacation please. Ke mana pulak? =P

❤ Busy Mencari Kerja ❤


Ya, busy mencari kerja. Orang takde kerja, tulah kerja nya. =)

Actually, senyap mencari sumber nak menambahkan rezeki. Dan membina website jualan atas talian sendiri dengan mencari ilmu di sana sini. Alhamrdulillah, dah terlancar pun bisness baru kami secara online dalam 2 3 hari. Sangatlah banyak yang perlu diperbaiki. Jadi sye merangkak hari demi hari. Takpa, janji sye nak mencuba perbaiki diri. Insyaallah, nanti ada yang membantu. Itu semua rezeki Allah yang bagi. Sekarang dalam proses nak up-kan stratergi marketing kami. Doa-doakan ye.

Jadi, kalau kalian ada masa, datanglah berkunjung ke kedai kami di sini atau like Facebook kami di sini. =) Kalau sudi, terima kasih daun keladi. Banyak tau buku-buku ilmiah dan educational toys untuk anak-anak yang boleh dibeli! Haha, boleh pulak promote bisness sendiri dulu.

Anyway, like usual, kalau berbunyi di blog ni, nak catat milestone si kecik kami. Oh Aisyah, sekarang ni, Oh my Aisyah! Haha, itu je yang boleh dikatakan. Subahanallah, ciptaan Allah yang ni, memang ligat sekali. Keaktifan dia buat mama ni hilang nafas hari-hari. Dan, akal, akal dia banyak sangat. Dan dengan itu, again, Mr. Hubby keep thinking she's a prodigy! Hahaha.... KALAULAH! Eh, tapi kalau betul, Alhamdulillah! =)

I keep thinking, Aisyah makin hari makin membesar. And I do not like it. I like this moment now, sekarang, kala keletahnya mengisi hari demi hari. Sangat seronok melayan kerenah dia kini. Kan dah mula faham itu ini, Ya Allah, hari-hari buat mama gelakkan itu ini, or maybe jugak jerit situ sini. =P

And she's a wonder. A wonderful brilliant kid. Terkejut kadang-kadang. Like this one time, kami keluar, dan sye nak menguruskan hal bank, maka tinggalkan dia dalam kereta with bapaknya. Dan bila sye masuk kereta, tengok bergenang air mata. 'Why la Aisyah? Kenapa nangis?' She came and hug me. Nak tau apa dia jawab? 'Mama, Aisyah sedih' Ok, sye yang dengar terus jadi tersedih juga. Padahal tak sampai 5 minit pun. Kemudian explain and explain baru dia nak senyum semula. Hai lah anak, you are growing up too fast for my liking!

Sekarang, dia sangat suka berkawan. Abang, kakak dan baby, semua kawan dia. Kadang-kadang, even pakcik naik lif sama-sama dipanggilnya abang. Erks, kembang semangkuk orang-orang disekeliling kami dah bertukar title lebih muda. Tapi, tak kisahlah, it's a good sign. Dulu, tengok orang je she'll run away duduk jauh-jauh. Now she can mingle with even kids older than her. Oh, kan sye dah kata, dia ni sedang membesar dengan jayanya. Tak lama lagi I will be too uncool to hang out with her. Kan?

 Friends, now I have friends

 Playing, playing is what's making her happy

 Ini ada cerita, dia main dengan kerusinya. Dan dia henyak-henyakkan kerusi sambil meng-inspect durabiliti kerusi kesayangan dia. *i'm watching from afar tanpa pengetahuan dia* Selepas 5 minit, skru kerusi tu dah tercabut dek diketuk-ketuk dan dihempuk-hempuk, dia pun berbunyi 'Uh Oh'. Kemudian cuba-cuba untuk duduk lagi. Usaha yang tak berjaya, dia datang kepada sye, bawak seat kerusinya, 'Mama, Alamak!' macam tak disengaja-sengaja; padahal nak oi, mama tengok kamu memang cuba menjahanamkan kerusi tercinta. Hah, tapi kalau tak dibiarkan, nanti dia tak jadi explorer, maka mama angguk dan kata, 'Ok, nanti kita fix chair tu ye!' '^_^

Dan kadang-kadang, bila kami kebosanan, kami akan buat art yang mengotorkan tangan, tapi meninggalkan senyuman.

Ragam =)

Oh, dia sedang memanjat set TV. Harus berhenti dulu. Bila nak sambung lagi sye pun tak pasti, nanti janji tak ditepati, sye dituduh menipu. Haha


❤ Raya Dah Habis Dah ❤

Yes. Syawal had ended. 
Dan sye belum cerita pasal Raya sakan sye. Haha.
Well, actually, lots of things happen that month. Some that I would not want to remember, some that changed me forever, some that changed the families all together.
Hence, I was in no mood to blog.
But now I am back. And rather to dwell on those unhappy thoughts, I will only focus on times that I'll cherish forever. Starting now.

Ok. Forget that. Let's move forward, shall we? =)

Sebenarnya cerita ni dah long overdue. Lebih kurang sebulan dua. Dah tak berapa nak ingat exact date nya. Tapi sye akan tetap bercerita - sebab ini hari bahagia.

Si kecik kan water girl. Dan dia juga kini FISH girl. Hari-hari makan pun mau fish. Oh, fish memang dia suka. Tapi yang syoknya, chicken pun dia panggil fish juga. And meat, tetap fish dipanggilnya. Hai la anak. Puas mama ajar, tapi dia seronok kot sebut perkataan fish tu. Biarlah dia =)

Anyway, FISH girl kami selain gemar makan fish, she likes to look at fish very much. Segala kartun, berita, cerita dan buku yang ada fish, dia akan melompat-lompat gembira. Dan ada satu buku underwater world yang saya belikan dia tu dah hancur lunyai dibelek hari-hari sambil bersorak ceria.

Maka, halatuju cerita ni adalah hari di mana kami bertiga pergi Aquaria. =)

Di hari kami decide nak pergi Aquaria tu, bila diinform kepada dia, sepanjang hari dia tergelak ketawa. Ya Allah, bahagianya bila tengok anak gembira. 

And that day itself, wahlawei, sye dapati anak sye memang-memang super loving water and its creatures!!!

Ikan-ikan boleh membuatkan hidup hilang gundah gulana. Life is very simple sebenarnya =)

And I learned that from my little daughter! ❤

Smiles that can melt hearts

Sudah pandai posing untuk camera =)

Kusyuk bercerita kepada dunia underwater

Expression when big fish lalu atas kepala 
This, this picture shows me how fast she's growing in front of my eyes

In awe

Front row seats ladies and gentlemen

Sempat mengorat dan berlambaian dengan abang scuba diver

I love fish, but I'm smart, sharks kills la bapak - takot!

Just because, I love how pretty this jellyfish are. Spongebob, lets be best friends =P

Jumpa lagi di hari gembira akan datang.
Jom bawak anak-anak ke Aquaria kawan-kawan! =)