+ pics galore +

Once upon a time, there was a girl by the name of Ren.Dee. She was one strange girl. She live in an urban world yet her place was dramatically torn and in serious need of reconstruction.

She would love to work in food and beverage hospitality area for money.

She was generally not a very jolly person, but there was her little sister that could always make her smile.

She was super tight with her little sister and they do stupid things together. For instance, they once played gettho girls and they had a wonderful time.

She also loved to eat and hang out with little numbers of her friends.

Ren.Dee could never hold a relationship cause she was a very confusing girl.

However, there were times when she did want to have a relationship. Especially, when she started thinking about having Matt Shadow as a husband and a kid along the way.

She thought that the fairy tale would never happen to her and keep living her days feeling her dream was slipping away from her.

One day, while she was in a bookstore for books she couldn't really afford, she met with the most handsome person she had never laid her eyes on. He was very charming, funny, childish and goofy all at the same time. He asked her out and she agreed. They went out for some luxurious dinner.

He rented a whole cinema so they could watched the movie together, only the both of them.

Everything was perfect and in time they finally fell in love. Ren.Dee is currently living with her very awesome boyfriend Bert McCracken and she is happy and in love.

She couldn't believe her luck. Good things do come to those who wait. They live in Bert's apartment in Utah with their two little kittens and they are expecting a baby boy soon.

They are naming the boy Micheal.

Hehe. I will be going back tomorrow. No internet connection again. So, I decided to make a much interesing post for one last time. So you'll not miss me. Lol. I know, you are not going to but hell, I just want to post something fun. I hope you enjoy that. :D

ps: I don't own any of the story. It is purely fictional and if your picture is up there and you don't want me to put it on, sorry! I'll not use them if you don't want me to, so holla at me ya.
Till later, adios.

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+ wish +

You know what I would really love to do? I would really want to go and have a paintball war. That would be just awesome. I had never ever play paintball before. :(

x deez x
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+ me likey +

I like this one.


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+ the world is not perfect +

Heh... I read somewhere that the world is perfect. Well, maybe it is, but for me, my world is not perfect. I know it sound absurd but I don't think my world will ever be perfect.

I am a sad person. Sometimes I wish that I have something, something interesting in my life worth writing about, worth sharing. It had never been the case, probably never will. I am too much of a coward to let somthing interesting happen too me. How sad is that? Heh. i wish I have a little son or daughter; a baby that i could write about. Damn it, I have had dreams of having my own babies since I was little. Every little girl dreams of having a nice house, a perfect boyfriend, a price charming, being a good wive, being a successful woman, being a nice wife, having the perfect wedding. Me? All I ever wanted to be since I could remember is to be a mother; a good mother. But how can I be one when I couldn't even take care of myself? And how the heck am I going to be a mother if I am too scared to do anything? I am destined to be alone I guess and having nothing good happening to me.

I am so depress right now, I could sleep for days.

Good thing college going to start soon, takes my mind off of things I am not supposed to think about. Well, it is not going to start for another 2 weeks but I am going back to my own place this week. I had stayed home far too long and had been doing nothing for far too much. I think I am going to get a job. Really would help my head I guess. We'll see.

x deez x
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+ eye +

Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession.
Love me or hate me, that is the question.
If you love me then thank you!
If you hate me then fuck you!

Lets do the math on this

I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum...And I'm all outta bubblegum.

x deez x

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+ sassy +

I finished another one. Little Miss Vixen! Yay! Nas? What do you say? Thank you! Not sexy enough for your liking? Deal with it! Background sucks, don't feel like doing background. Nas, boy, if you want one without any background, holla at me kay?

My headache is gradually going away! Muchos gracias.

Who's next? Lay-la? :p I know girl!

x deez x
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+ for real +

Erks... Apparently, I'm taking request now! Huhu, some of your request will be taking care of soon. (If I may) :p Heh... might, take sometimes though. Erm, the thing is, I need to clarify here that I have lost contacts with everyone for days. For starter, I only have RM 0.14 for my phone credits for 3 days now and I don't have the will to go out and buy myself some top-ups. I asked my dad several times but he kept forgetting and really, I really really don't want to go out of the house. So, bare with me. Unless someone want to sponsor me some credits? :p I kid, I kid!

Oh, and my YM! is not working so I won't be online until I could figure out what's wrong with it.

OK, back to my Photoshop. Until next time, I love ya all.

x deez x

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+ happy birthday +

This is a birthday dedication for Shida! Happy Birthday gurl! Love ya! And, yes, I present Frank Iero to you, he could be your bitch for a day. Sorry about the vector though, something is wrong with his eyes, but I really don't have enough time to make this, hey, you request for it just one day earlier k! :p Plus, my tiredness still hadn't go away and with the tiredness come headache, stomach ache and cramping as well, so, sorry.

Anyway, may you have a good year ahead and enjoy the rest of the day k lurve. Take care babeh.

Doing this remind me of the day I met Frank himself.

I heard he is married. Congrats! :)
Till next time, take care.

x deez x
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+ done +

Watched Slam Dunk for I don't know how many times again, and fell in love with the character all over again too. Had always have a crush on the boy above. If you don't know who he is, go watch Slam Dunk now! :) That's Mr. Ryota Miyagi, point guard of Shohoku High School Basketball Team. My head is killing me while I'm doing this, suckness much. Till later, bye.

x deez x
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+ tired +

I woke up feeling tired and I go to sleep feeling tired as well. I did nothing during the day and I feel tired. It take me all of my strength to move from one place to another. I feel freaking tired again. It is tiring - feeling tired. I need some colored pills. Darn it. I wish I have more strengths. I NEED more strengths. Photoshop is getting boring. I want to be somewhere else. I can't imagine where; too tired to think.

x deez x
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+ image post +

'Nuff said.


After 1

After 2

Perfect use of KFC's Bucket container. That's my 2 kittens Andy and Divo :)

Images are shitty due to pictures taken with camera phone with not enough lighting. Works are shitty due to my laziness, just want to post something up and play with the images a little. Till then, buhbye.

x deez x
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+ not much +

Not much had to be said this past week.

It was voting week. I didn't vote. Why? I'm clueless when it comes to politic. I never knew which one is the good party which ones aren't. They all promise a lot of things so, really, I don't know, I don't understand and I don't want to make a decision. But, to whomever who know what they want in politic, good job for voting. Power t the people.

I have a boring week but my head is not as messed up. Everything seem to come to a halt and I'm glad for that.

SPM result will be out tomorrow. I think I am more nervous than my little sister is.

Both Manchester United and Chelsea are out from the FA cup title chase. Fuck it! Stuttgart trashed Werder Bremen 6-3 in Bundesliga in one of the most exciting game I've seen for a while. It was good, and seeing Werder lost was a bonus. I still have much faith for Bayern.

I miss my friends. Can't wait for college to start again. Not looking forward to exam result though. It might blow.

Everyone is getting married. Cousins, friends, uncles, aunties and apparently all people are capable of talking about these days are marriage. 'Tema kawin kaler aper?' 'Baju tempah kat mane?' 'Bunga telur nak berape?' 'Besanding nak buat kat mane?' 'Katering amik sape?' Well, you know what, I don't fucking care! Geez. I am selfish, but aren't you tired of talking about it? Damn, now I know how guys feel most of the time when their fiancee start talking about marriage preparation. I am suffocated. Cause by the end of all that conversations will submerge the question that concern me, 'When is your turn going to be?' Gah! Can people just leave me alone? Oh, and if I were to get married, it will be a small kind of wedding, me, my husband, my close families and his close families. Not more than 30 people will be involve and I don't want to spend money on it. Got it? Kapeesh!

On the other news, I am getting fatter by the minute. wouldn't you be when all you do is sits at home, watching TV, do some online stuffs, eats and sleep? You would! DAMN!

That's all for now. Till next time, Tata.

x deez x
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+ clutter +

I'm back. Eh, I have nothing better to do. You know your head is not right when you're listening to Mika's album again and again. I like his songs though, they are different and refreshing. odd enough, it seem to be a bit too o-sound-clickity (wtf?) to my liking at the beginning, but after some times, I like them songs. :p Laugh, I don't care. He is one unique character, very creative and I like it! OK, I'm officially out of my mind. lol. But can you blame me? Really? :)

Ain't he sweet? All right, back to matters in hand. I still am doing nothing, still residence permenantly in my room with occasional departure to get myself something to eat. Hey, a girl have to eat k, regardless anything. Anyway, I realized, as much as my head is cluttered, my room is also so very cluttered. There are tons and tons of things that I don't really need in here. I am a collector, of EVERYTHING, and well, result in the clutter in my room. But, in that aspect, you know what, I won't change it for a thing! I like my cluttered spaces in the room. I just wish I got more space in my head too. :p Anyway, posting of evidences pictures of how cluttered (& messy) my room is. Sharing with the little one too.

3 tables with too many things on them. Don't even have space for anything else. Oh, and yes, we love bottles, it drives us crazie! :)

Again, stuffs on the tables. Heh. The books though, all the books in the room are possibly our most valuable possession to date. We are proud of our book collection so far. We also tend to keep pictures of random people that we want to meet in frames. We don't have a single picture of families and friends in frames, just famous people we are obsessed with. Believe me, it is needed to get on with life, if you are anything like me. Nothing creepy, just helping in the self-motivation area.

Like always, I like to doodle anywhere I can, and evidently, home is no exception. That was marker on the table, should have seen how furious my mom was. Also, should see how mad she was when I doodle on he bedsheets. It is just something I do. The wall; even the walls are cluttered eh? take pride in that! What can I say, as you know; I AM A TEDDY-BEAR JUNKIE! Sue me! :p

Well, that's about it. Be honored to see this cause none of my friends even get a chance to be in any of my room ever! A glimpse is enough making you not want to be in here right? This actually cleared my head a little. Funny how things work out right? :) Need a nap.

x deez x

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+ need sleep +

Hah... heya all. Long time no see... And who's fault is that? Entirely mine.

I can't sleep, thus this entry. It's 5 in the fuckin morning!

This time, I plead guilty of INSANITY, again to the floor of juries. SORRY.

I had been 'sick' these couple of days. Who would have thought right? I know, I know, you all are going "here we go again". This time, it's my problem and mine only. I swear. I am all better now. Thank you. And sorry again. Forgive me? *pout lips* Puhhlessseeee? :p

I have nothing better to do and to take my mind off of things unnecessary to be thought of, I keep my hand and mind busy with the laptop. Thank God for the creation of laptops eh? Who know where I'd be right now without the laptop. But, with my determination to not think, (which really, a big flaws to me as much as I don't want to) so, I get back in touch with my Photoshop skills. Bare in mind I haven't touch that software for years. I wish I could install Maya, but this old laptop wouldn't be able to handle the stress. Truth be told, I won't too. :D Anyway, playing with Photoshop, take me back to my times with Joe (the tutor, not the punk). I asked him once to teach me to do vector. "You are a 3D artist, what the hell do you need to learn vectoring for? You better take time in doing your character rigging which may I say needs a lot of work for your part" he protested me, not because he didn't want to teach me, it just that I was wayyyy behind with my assignment at that time. With my ever so lazy attitude I answered him, "Well, I am fascinated with 2D and vectoring at this moment. Just show me would ya? I swear tonight, I'll work my ass off doing my rigging and show it to you tomorrow". He knew I wouldn't get out of his office until he taught me how to do vectors, so we spend a whole hour learning how to do vector. I was satisfied, he was a good teacher, and I knew the basic things for vectoring from there. Keeping my promise, that night, I started with my rigging and works loads up afters leaving me no time in trying my vectoring skill anyhow. So, with lots of time in my hand right now, I tried vectoring. The outcome was nowhere near good, but my head was cluttered (still am cluttered) so I think, this was a good first try. I like doing vectors. Keep in mind, I never ever do this before, so I know it suck. But, I'm happy with it.

I have no title for it. Figures! :p
Anyway, I think that is all for now. Again, I would extend my deepest sorry. Why do I feel the need to apologize? Man...! I'm turning into a softie. Damn it! Huh!

~I know it is scary to know that I actually remember words by words what Joe and I were saying in his office about 4 years ago. I have way too much time in my hands. Oh, and I never forgot... that's about it~


x deez x

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+ dreams +

I am a big part of the dreams... we all are....

x deez x
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