+ the world is not perfect +

Heh... I read somewhere that the world is perfect. Well, maybe it is, but for me, my world is not perfect. I know it sound absurd but I don't think my world will ever be perfect.

I am a sad person. Sometimes I wish that I have something, something interesting in my life worth writing about, worth sharing. It had never been the case, probably never will. I am too much of a coward to let somthing interesting happen too me. How sad is that? Heh. i wish I have a little son or daughter; a baby that i could write about. Damn it, I have had dreams of having my own babies since I was little. Every little girl dreams of having a nice house, a perfect boyfriend, a price charming, being a good wive, being a successful woman, being a nice wife, having the perfect wedding. Me? All I ever wanted to be since I could remember is to be a mother; a good mother. But how can I be one when I couldn't even take care of myself? And how the heck am I going to be a mother if I am too scared to do anything? I am destined to be alone I guess and having nothing good happening to me.

I am so depress right now, I could sleep for days.

Good thing college going to start soon, takes my mind off of things I am not supposed to think about. Well, it is not going to start for another 2 weeks but I am going back to my own place this week. I had stayed home far too long and had been doing nothing for far too much. I think I am going to get a job. Really would help my head I guess. We'll see.

x deez x
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